You don’t have to take a trip to the ends of the earth in search of more confidence. Everything you need is already within yourself. It’s all about finding the strategies that help you set it free.
Why does confidence matter?
The vibes you are putting out into the world are directly related to the ones you’ll receive back. If you lack confidence you are more likely to accept mistreatment - be it from your boss, your partner or even a person on the street. You are also more likely to harm yourself or others; from eating disorders to becoming a bully to boost yourself up. High self-esteem is actually an important stepping stone to success in life, your career and overall happiness. So, if confidence is your secret weapon in life then how can you get more of it?
1) Cut out the negative self-talk
We’ve heard it time and time again; stop talking yourself down. It’s one thing to say you’ll stop doing it and another entirely to find ways to implement your strategy. Katinda Ndola is a motivational speaker and empowerment coach from Confidence and Self Esteem. She shared with us 4 methods you can use to finally get rid of that negativity:
“When we are born, we come into this world full of confidence. Why then as we get older do we lose our confidence? Here are some strategies.
First, the way to build your self-confidence is by developing self-awareness and learning how to praise, like and celebrate you. When you know ‘who you are’ you find the best ways to diminish your fears and develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
Second, learning to love yourself is paramount because you develop your confidence muscles and show the greatness within.
Third, don’t focus on your negative self-talk like when you say I am not worthy, instead choose to tell yourself a different more self-respectful story like "I need to work more on my self-esteem.”
Fourth, affirm and believe in yourself everyday with “I AM” statements. Such as I am worthy, confident, fabulous, smart.”
“I AM ENOUGH”
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2) Take better care of yourself
When you’re having a busy week the choice between an extra 20 minutes in bed or 20 minutes to style your hair, throw on some makeup or for men to fit in a shave seems like an obvious choice. Then again, what are you really giving up? Having confidence in your appearance is one path to having more confidence in yourself. How you look is not the most important thing but if it helps improve how you feel then it’s serving a dual purpose.
Take stock of your week and see where you can fit in some extra pamper time. If your budget is an issue find a small change to fit in, such as a regular manicure. If you’re ready to splurge; consider overhauling your closet and introducing some new styles that make you feel great. Treat yourself to a new wardrobe or dresser in MyDeal bedroom so your new style feels like a fresh start.
3) Smile more often
Did you know that smiles are contagious? In fact, so are frowns. Many of our facial cues are mirrored by those around us. If more positive reactions from those around you will help your self-confidence then initiating a smile is the way to go. Smiles have also been proven to reduce stress and make you feel happier.
If you’re worried about the state of your smile there are simple solutions to get you grinning. HiSmile have a range of whitening methods from toothpaste to an on-the-go pen and their full LED whitening kit. They’re suitable for sensitive teeth and some are even vegan friendly which means everyone can put their best smile out there. Nyarai from HiSmile shared with us how the portable Gel Pen helps her feel smile ready at all times.
“The HiSmile Gel Pen is the perfect little confidence booster when you need a quick touch up on your teeth before or during a fun night out. The sleek Gel Pen is a very modern and compact little tool that can fit in just about any purse. I find that I feel much better about myself and more confident when I know my teeth are glistening. Also an additional reassurance that I don’t have any lipstick stains on my teeth, this little baby helps me rub away any of that too!”
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4) Practice introducing yourself
Feeling confident around your friends, family or people you know well is much easier. Dealing with new people presents a different challenge. Instead of fumbling over your words and replaying the awkward moments in your brain on loop, practise introducing yourself. Getting used to telling people who you are and what you do takes away the worry when entering a room full of strangers. Take five minutes every other day to give your intro in front of the mirror and keep practising until it feels totally natural. Focus on these three things; a tall posture, good eye contact and that all important friendly smile. Check out MyDeal home and garden for a floor-length or standing mirror that will give you the full perspective on these key elements.
5) Create a list of your best attributes
Ask friends, family or even colleagues to share one thing they think you’re good at. We’re sure they could list more but what you’re after is a long list from many people to help boost you when you need it.
Perhaps it was winning an award, finishing your first marathon or a thank-you card that made you feel great. Keeping mementos of special or proud moments can help you feel more accomplished, capable and in turn confident about yourself.
Throwing away all negative thoughts is easier said than done. Keeping track of the positive ones can provide balance when you’ve had a bad week, feeling like you’re not good enough or things are too hard. Write your own list of your favourite things about yourself. Everything is on the cards; from ‘ I bake the best brownies’ to ‘I think I’m a kind person’.
6) Carry a lucky charm
The benefits of a four leaf clover or wearing your lucky socks to a meeting may be all in your head but that doesn’t mean it won’t work. Studies show that our performance can be improved by the presence of a lucky charm simply because it makes you feel more confident in your abilities. The idea that luck is on your side helps you to feel as though you can do better. Even the act of someone wishing you good luck can make you believe you have luck with you. So tell your partner, mother, brother and anyone who’ll listen to carry their lucky charms or wish them good luck everyday to see their confidence soar.
7) Push your boundaries
Remember the first time you drove a car? Your brain was in overdrive thinking about mirror checks, turning lanes, indicators, traffic signals and giving way. You were probably unsure of your skills but you didn’t let yourself quit. Now, driving is more of a boring task than a challenge.
It’s important to keep pushing your comfort levels to new places. Everytime you try something new you believe in your ability to do it. Believe in yourself often enough and you’ll find it’s a natural way of being.
Confidence is something many of us desire and it’s something we can all have. By committing to more confidence building habits you can improve your outlook on life and yourself.
