Bullying doesn’t end in high school, it continues to make its way through the corporate world too. Workplace bullies are common, and half the time, those who are bullied by a coworker just put up with it. Here’s how you can identify and deal with a workplace bully.
How To Identify A Workplace Bully
Sometimes people think they’re being bullied, but their boss or coworker is just having a bad day. However, there are clear indications when someone is bullying you, and they’re not just having a bad day. An indication that someone is bullying you is if they do it regularly. Here are some more indicators:
- They yell at you in front of others, humiliate you or gossip about you
- They know your emotional triggers and use them against you
- Men will often use body language to bully, such as ignoring you, glaring and pulling facial expressions. They are also more likely to be abusive in their language.
- Women, however, are more subtle. They use small digs, finding emotional triggers and using them against you.
Why Do Bullies Do It?
This is a question that is often subjective, as everyone has different motives for their actions. However, there are some clear reasons why bullies do what they do. This can include the feeling of power, needing to be in control of other (AKA, a power trip). Another reason why they may bully is a reaction to stress or pressure that they’re feeling, they’re threatened by other’s success or they have a personality disorder. These are no excuses for their behaviour, but they are clear motives for their actions.
How To Deal With A Bully
So, you’ve identified the bully, so how do you deal with them, and make them stop their bullying?
Don’t Get Emotional
A bully thrives on reactions, so if they begin tormenting you, avoid getting emotional. Stay calm, and diffuse the situation. You can, from here, stand up to them. Keep your cool, and don’t give them any reason to bite back.
Nathalie Lynton from Shared and Halved shares her valuable advice for dealing with a workplace bully. “The most important thing to do in this situation is documents what has happened and record it. Most people don’t want to escalate the situation because they don’t want to make waves, or they think they are being too sensitive. Bullies have a knack for choosing the least assertive people to pick on, and making them think it’s the victim’s fault. But talking to your manager or supervisor about how you feel in your workplace is important – They can’t do anything if they don’t know. Even if you think but are not sure bullying has happened it’s critical to let your manager know. The perpetrator could well have been bullying other people and your encounter is an escalation in their behaviour.” Find out more about Shared and Halved by following them on Facebook and Instagram. When the bully approaches you whilst you’re sitting in your executive office chair, jot down all of the things they say, along with the time and place, as well as any witnesses you had during the situation. This way, if it comes to the point where you tell someone in HR or management, you have all the evidence you need.
Bring It Into Your Conscious Mind
Suzanne Scarrow from Personal Peace offers her advice for dealing with a bully in the workplace. “The trick is to bring this event into your conscious mind and then clear it using a tool like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), which you might know as tapping. I also use a tool called Matrix Reimprinting to clear the limiting belief that was formed during these experiences and rewrite the person’s belief about themselves. When you can go from feeling ‘not good enough’ or ‘the World is not a safe place’, to feeling completely good enough and safe no matter what is going on in your life, you will find that the bullies disappear from your experience.” Find out more about Personal Peace by following her on Facebook.
Tell HR and Management About Their Behaviour
If things get really out of control, your best bet is to speak to someone who is in management or in Human Recourses. Although HR work for the company, it’s important to stop yourself from making the issue a counselling session. Find someone who specialises in bullying, and let them know what you’re feeling. From here, you can organise a sit-down session with the bully and work out a solution. You can pick somewhere quiet to sit, whether it be in a private office, or you can sit on the modern couch in your lunchroom to have a more relaxed chat.
Organise A Workplace Bullying Workshop
Michael McLeod from Future Institute of Australia offers his advice. “One of the best ways to deal with workplace harassment and bullying is to organise a workplace bullying and tolerance workshop for everyone in the company. Workshops are there to help workers, team leaders and managers identify and deal with bullying. They provide great information and advice to help build a safer and happier workplace. “ Find out more about Future Institute of Australia by following them on Facebook and Twitter.
Workplace bullies are a real issue. They’re not something that goes away after you graduate high school. High school bullies can become workplace bullies, so it’s important that you identify any issues that come your way, and know how to handle them.